if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
