Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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