we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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