Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
