Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
