If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Come share oat with me in your robe
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize