Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
