just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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