Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
