Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
