Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
