i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
