you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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