On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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