We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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