Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You may now shotgun with the bride
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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