i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
