scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize