I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
