Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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