Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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