Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
