Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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