Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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