If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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