She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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