Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
