Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
