he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
