This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This is the high leading the old right now
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
