he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
