Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
