Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
