I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
