if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
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