and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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