How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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