three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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