At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
