...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I need to sanitize my soul.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
