You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
