There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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