I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize