:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
