You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
