i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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