that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
