do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
