glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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