All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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