i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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