You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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