you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I could fuck to npr.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
