is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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