I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize