He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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